bod you 'n' all pal!!!

I wrote this poem after spending the afternoon with my beloved brother ,he is a typical yorkshireman! When something annoys him he lets everyone know and he doesn't stop swearing for days, and when he has forgotten what he was moaning about he still likes to swear. I personally think it is genetically inherited as everyone in my family swears. This is affectionally known as a PURSEHOUSE trait.

I'm worried about my brother he just can't help but swearing, when women and kids are around his words aren't fit for sharing.
I went to see the doctor for help to see what he could do, he checked back in his medical records and said "Mmm-he's been swearing since he were two."
We can't take him out where there are people under 10, he lets rip with a string of obsceneties-finishes-and then starts all over again!
It's F-in-this an F-in-that an F-in -up yours too, if you could see the air he speaks it'd be an illuminating blue!
I just can't understand him his language is absurd but there is a bit of english between every filthy word.
His friends think he can stop this talk they say "its just a phase, i'm sure he will"
But i don't think it's as simple as that , i think hes slightly ill.
So now theres gonna be a wager and i'm taking all the bets, and 'i'll be quids in next week cos i swear he's got tourettes.

written by janine lightning october 2004